एक कंपनी के मैनेजर ने अत्यंत शिष्ट स्वर में एक कर्मचारी से कहा - क्षमा करना सुरेश, मैं तुम्हें सोते से कदापि न जगाता, अगर यह बात अत्यन्त महत्वपूर्ण न होती। तुम्हें नौकरी से बर्खास्त किया जाता है .....
मेजबान टीम का कप्तान अम्पायर को समझा रहा था - आप इस मैच के अम्पायर हैं। वैसे तो आपसे ईमानदारी की आशा करता हूं, पर आपको जानकारी के लिए बता दूं कि मैदान के साथ वाली इमारत अस्पताल है। दूसरी तरफ नदी बह रही है जिसमें गिरने के बाद कोई नहीं बचा है और इस मैदान में आज तक मेरी टीम कोई मैच नहीं हारी है।
एक नवोदित फिल्म अभिनेत्री एक फिल्म निर्माता द्वारा उसके साथ किए गए दुर्व्यवहार की शिकायत लेकर पुलिस थाने पहुंची। उसने रोते-रोते पुलिस इंस्पेक्टर को बताया - अमुक निर्माता बहुत नीच आदमी है। कल रात उसने मुझे अपने घर बुलाया और मेरा शारीरिक शोषण किया।
पुलिस इंस्पेक्टर ने बीच में ही टोका - तो आपने उसी वक्त शोर क्यों नहीं मचाया ?
अभिनेत्री ने सुबकते हुए कहा - उस वक्त मुझे पता नहीं था कि वह इतना नीच आदमी है।
पुलिस इंस्पेक्टर ने आगे पूछा - तो फिर यह आपको कब पता चला ?
- यह तो मुझे तब पता चला जब सुबह उसने बिना कोई कोई साइनिंग एमाउंट दिए मुझे चलता कर दिया .......
बंता का तबादला बैंगलोर कर दिया गया। कन्नड़ भाषा न आने के कारण वह स्थानीय लोगों से बातचीत करने में कठिनाई महसूस कर रहा था। लिहाजा वह एक बुक स्टोर पर गया और ''तीस दिनों में कन्नड़ बोलना सीखें'' नामक पुस्तक की दो प्रतियां खरीदीं।
दुकानदार ने पूछा - दूसरी प्रति क्या अपने किसी दोस्त के लिए ले जा रहे हैं।
बंता - जी नहीं, दरअसल मैं सिर्फ पन्द्रह दिनों में ही कन्नड़ बोलना सीखना चाहता हूं .....
पत्नी द्वारा फोन पर आधा घंटा बात करके फोन रख देने पर पति ने हैरत से पूछा - क्या हुआ ? आज तो तुमने फोन बड़ी जल्दी रख दिया ? तुम्हारी बातें तो बड़ी लम्बी चलती हैं।
पत्नी ने उदास भाव से कहा - क्या करूं, रांग नम्बर था ....
संता रात को सोते समय कमरे में दो गिलास रखकर सोता है। एक पानी से भरा हुआ और दूसरा खाली। क्योंकि उसे यह नहीं पता होता कि रात में प्यास लगेगी या नहीं ?
मरीज : डॉक्टर साहब, क्या कोई ऐसी दवाई नहीं बनी है कि मैं मर भी जाऊं तो बाद में जीवित हो जाऊं ?
डॉक्टर : दवाई तो नहीं बनी है, पर आप एकता कपूर से कान्टेक्ट कर सकते हैं ।
संता हवाईजहाज में सफर कर रहा था। एयरहोस्टेस ने मुस्कुराकर उसका अभिवादन किया। अभिवादन का प्रत्युत्तर देते हुए संता ने कहा - आपकी शक्ल मेरी बीबी से काफी मिलती है। इस बात पर एयरहोस्टेस ने उसे एक तमाचा जड़ दिया। गाल सहलाते हुए संता ने कहा - शक्ल ही नहीं, आदत भी मिलती है ....
संता की बीबी : सुनो जी, कल रात नींद में तुम मुझे गालियां दे रहे थे ।संता : यह तुम्हारी गलतफहमी है । बीबी : कैसी गलतफहमी ? संता : यही कि मैं नींद में था .....
एक सुबह बॉस अपने नियत समय से पहले ही ऑफिस पहुंच गए तो पाया कि मैनेजर उनकी सेक्रेटरी का चुम्बन ले रहा है। बॉस ने उसे डांटते हुए कहा - क्या मैं तुम्हें यह सब करने की तनख्वाह देता हूं ?मैनेजर ने जवाब दिया - नहीं सर, यह सब तो मैं फ्री ऑफ चार्ज करता हूं ....
प्रेमी ने प्रेमिका का पहली बार चुंबन लिया तो प्रेमिका के छोटे भाई ने देख लिया। प्रेमी घबरा गया कि कहीं वह जाकर किसी को बता न दे। उसने प्रेमिका से कहा - ''इसे पांच रूपये दे देता हूं। शायद मान जाये और किसी से न कहे!''प्रेमिका ने तुरंत टोका - ''पांच रूपये क्यों ? यह काम तो वह शुरू से ही दो रूपये में करता आ रहा है!''
प्रेमी : यदि मैं तुम्हें ''किस'' कर लूं तो तुम मुझसे क्या कहोगी ? प्रेमिका : एक ऐसा चोर जो पूरी कार चुरा सकता था पर सिर्फ टायर चुराने पर ही संतोष कर गया!
एक प्रसिध्द लेखक ने एक बार अपने भाषण में कहा - मेरा बचपन बहुत ही गरीबी में बीता । हम लोग इतने गरीब थे कि घर की सुरक्षा के लिए एक कुत्ता भी नहीं पाल सकते थे। इसलिए रात के समय जब भी कोई आहट होती हमें स्वयं ही भौंकना पड़ता था ..... ।
एक कंपनी के मैनेजर ने अत्यंत शिष्ट स्वर में एक कर्मचारी से कहा - क्षमा करना सुरेश, मैं तुम्हें सोते से कदापि न जगाता, अगर यह बात अत्यन्त महत्वपूर्ण न होती। तुम्हें नौकरी से बर्खास्त किया जाता है .....
मेजबान टीम का कप्तान अम्पायर को समझा रहा था - आप इस मैच के अम्पायर हैं। वैसे तो आपसे ईमानदारी की आशा करता हूं, पर आपको जानकारी के लिए बता दूं कि मैदान के साथ वाली इमारत अस्पताल है। दूसरी तरफ नदी बह रही है जिसमें गिरने के बाद कोई नहीं बचा है और इस मैदान में आज तक मेरी टीम कोई मैच नहीं हारी है।
पत्नी द्वारा फोन पर आधा घंटा बात करके फोन रख देने पर पति ने हैरत से पूछा - क्या हुआ ? आज तो तुमने फोन बड़ी जल्दी रख दिया ? तुम्हारी बातें तो बड़ी लम्बी चलती हैं।
पत्नी ने उदास भाव से कहा - क्या करूं, रांग नम्बर था ....
संता रात को सोते समय कमरे में दो गिलास रखकर सोता है। एक पानी से भरा हुआ और दूसरा खाली। क्योंकि उसे यह नहीं पता होता कि रात में प्यास लगेगी या नहीं ?
मरीज : डॉक्टर साहब, क्या कोई ऐसी दवाई नहीं बनी है कि मैं मर भी जाऊं तो बाद में जीवित हो जाऊं ?
डॉक्टर : दवाई तो नहीं बनी है, पर आप एकता कपूर से कान्टेक्ट कर सकते हैं ।
संता हवाईजहाज में सफर कर रहा था। एयरहोस्टेस ने मुस्कुराकर उसका अभिवादन किया। अभिवादन का प्रत्युत्तर देते हुए संता ने कहा - आपकी शक्ल मेरी बीबी से काफी मिलती है। इस बात पर एयरहोस्टेस ने उसे एक तमाचा जड़ दिया। गाल सहलाते हुए संता ने कहा - शक्ल ही नहीं, आदत भी मिलती है ....
संता की बीबी : सुनो जी, कल रात नींद में तुम मुझे गालियां दे रहे थे ।संता : यह तुम्हारी गलतफहमी है । बीबी : कैसी गलतफहमी ? संता : यही कि मैं नींद में था .....
एक सुबह बॉस अपने नियत समय से पहले ही ऑफिस पहुंच गए तो पाया कि मैनेजर उनकी सेक्रेटरी का चुम्बन ले रहा है। बॉस ने उसे डांटते हुए कहा - क्या मैं तुम्हें यह सब करने की तनख्वाह देता हूं ?मैनेजर ने जवाब दिया - नहीं सर, यह सब तो मैं फ्री ऑफ चार्ज करता हूं ....
संता - भाईसाहब, टाइम क्या हुआ ? राहगीर - सात बजकर पच्चीस मिनट । संता - स्साला .... सुबह से पूछ रहा हूं, हर कोई अलग-अलग टाइम बता रहा है .....
कॉमर्स के प्रोफेसर ने अपने विद्यार्थी से पूछा - व्यवसाय शुरू करने के लिए वित्तीय सहायता प्राप्त करने का सबसे भरोसेमंद स्रोत कौन सा है ? विद्यार्थी - बीबी के पिताजी यानी ससुर साहब ......
पत्नी - तुम्हें कुछ याद भी रहता है ? जानते हो आज हमारी शादी की सालगिरह है ।पति - ओह, मैं सचमुच भूल गया था। आओ, दो मिनट का मौन धारण करते हैं ....
पिता - बेटा, तुम्हें कैसी बीबी चाहिए ?
बेटा - पापा, मुझे चांद जैसी बीबी चाहिए, जो रात को आए और सुबह चली जाए .....
प्रश्न - कुत्ते शादी क्यों नहीं करते हैं ?
उत्तर - क्योंकि वे पहले ही कुत्ते की जिंदगी जी रहे होते हैं ....
संता - देख, देख, वो लड़की मेरी तरफ देखकर मुस्कुरा रही थी।
बंता - अबे सिर्फ मुस्कुरा ही तो रही है। पता है जब मैंने पहली बार तेरी शकल देखी थी तो तीन दिन तक अपनी हंसी रोक नहीं पाया था .....
संता साइकिल पर बाजार जा रहा था। रास्ते में उसने एक लड़की को टक्कर मार दी।
लड़की चिल्लाई - घण्टी नहीं मार सकता था क्या ....... ?
संता रुआंसा होकर बोला - पूरी साइकिल तो मार दी, अब घण्टी क्या अलग से मारूं ....?
साहूकार : संता, जब भी मैं तुम्हें देखता हूं मुझे बंता की याद आ जाती है। संता : पर बंता और मुझमें तो कोई समानता है नहीं ! साहूकार : है क्यों नहीं ? तुम दोनों ने ही मुझसे सौ-सौ रुपये उधार ले रखे हैं ....
प्रेमी : मैं तुम्हारी चिट्ठियों पर लगे डाकटिकटों को चूमना नहीं भूलता क्योंकि उनमें तुम्हारे होंठों का स्पर्श शामिल रहता है।
प्रेमिका : ओह, लेकिन डाकटिकटों को चिपकाने का काम तो मेरी बूढ़ी नौकरानी किया करती है .....
संता - मैं तुमसे शादी करना चाहता हूं ।
लड़की - पर मैं तुमसे बड़ी हूं। पूरे एक साल ....
संता - कोई बात नहीं । मैं एक साल बाद शादी कर लूंगा ......
संता सड़क पर जा रहा था कि तभी एक चिड़िया उसके सिर पर बीट करके उड़ गई।
रूमाल से सिर साफ करते हुए संता बोला - भगवान का लाख लाख शुक्र है कि उसने गाय भैंसों को उड़ने के लायक नहीं बनाया .....
संता - स्कूलों के पास तो बोर्ड लगा है कि गाड़ी धीमे चलाएं पर गर्ल्स कॉलेज के पास ऐसा कोई बोर्ड क्यों नहीं लगा है ?
बंता - क्योंकि सबको पता है कि वहां तो गाड़ी धीमी हो ही जाएगी ....
ईमानदार नेता कौन होता है ?
वह जिसे एक बार खरीद लिया जाए तो फिर खरीदा हुआ ही रहे .......
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Hindi Gustakhi
आपकी दिलचस्पी भूतकाल के बजाय भविष्य में होनी चाहिए, क्योंकि आपको अपनी शेष जिंदगी वहीं बितानी है।
आदमी उतना बेवकूफ कभी नहीं बनता जितना उस वक्त जब कि वह किसी और को बेवकूफ बना रहा होता है।
प्रेम भूख से नहीं, कब्ज से मरता है।
किताबों का बाहुल्य हमें अज्ञानी बना रहा है।
पैसे के मामले में सबका मजहब एक है।
हमें जीना चाहिए और सीखना चाहिए; लेकिन जब हमारा सीखना खत्म होता है तब जीने के लिए वक्त नहीं रह जाता।
जो कर नहीं सकते, वे सिखाने लगते हैं।
साहित्य और पत्रकारिता में फर्क यह है कि पत्रकारिता पढ़ने लायक नहीं होती और साहित्य पढ़ा नहीं जाता ।
नैतिकता का पाठ बघारनेवाला अक्सर धूर्त होता है।
सन्त और पापी में केवल यह अन्तर है कि हर सन्त का एक भूतकाल होता है और हर पापी का एक भविष्य।
वह बेवकूफ है जो शादी करता है, लेकिन जो बेवकूफ से शादी नहीं करता वह और भी बड़ा बेवकूफ है।
औरतें अक्सर हमें महान कार्यों की प्रेरणा देती हैं और उन्हीं को करने नहीं देतीं।
लोग धर्म के लिए आपा-धापी करेंगे, उसके लिए लिखेंगे, उसके लिए लड़ेंगे, उसके लिए मरेंगे, सब करेंगे पर उसके लिए जिएंगे नहीं।
बहादुर आदमी साधारण आदमी से ज्यादा बहादुर नहीं होता, बस वह पांच मिनट ज्यादा बहादुर रहता है।
जितनी मेहनत से लोग नरक में जाते हैं, उससे आधी से स्वर्ग में जा सकते हैं।
जीवन, जीने की तैयारियों में ही बीत जाता है।
अगर आदमी की आधी इच्छाएं भी पूरी हो जाएं तो उसकी मुश्किलें दुगुनी हो जाएं।
लम्बी जिंदगी सब चाहते हैं, बूढ़ा होना कोई नहीं चाहता।
बच निकलने का सबसे अच्छा रास्ता हमेशा बीच में से होकर जाता है।
तीन आदमी किसी भेद को छुपाकर रख सकते हैं, अगर उनमें से दो मर जाएं।
जितने पैसे से एक व्यसन का निर्वाह होता है, उससे दो बच्चों की परवरिश हो सकती है।
आप समस्या से जितने दूर होंगे, उतने ही आदर्शवादी होंगे।
इतिहास से हम यह सीखते हैं कि - हमने इतिहास से कुछ नहीं सीखा।
व्याकरण की तरह जीवन में भी यह होता है कि - अपवादों की संख्या नियमों से भी बढ़ जाती है।
तमाम धर्म यौनिक सवालों की दीवानावार परिक्रमा कर रहे हैं।
बातचीत की कला का महान रहस्य है - खामोशी।
स्त्री प्रथम चुम्बन को याद रखती है जबकि पुरुष अन्तिम को भी भूल चुका होता है।
शादी जवानी की एक भूल है - जो कि हम सबको करनी चाहिए।
बहुत से लोगों के पास चरित्र होता है, और कुछ नहीं होता।
मौत की तरह शादी की भी कोई चिन्ता मत करो।
खुशी मुसीबत से भी बड़ी मुसीबत है।
कुछ लोगों के पास सिवाय अनुभव के कुछ नहीं होता।
हर बच्चे का शिक्षण उसके पैदा होने के सौ बरस पहले शुरू हो जाना चाहिए।
दो प्रकार के पुरुष स्त्रियों को नही समझते - विवाहित और कुंवारे ।
जो सरकारी नहीं होता वही तो असरकारी होता है।
एक आशावादी सोचता है कि गिलास आधा भरा है, निराशावादी का विचार होता है कि गिलास आधा खाली है, पर एक यथार्थवादी जानता है कि वह आसपास बना रहा तो अंतत: गिलास उसे ही धोना पड़ेगा।
प्रत्येक दिन को अपना अंतिम दिन मानकर चलो ..... एक दिन तुम सही साबित हो जाओगे ।
पैसा सारी बुराइयों की जड़ है...... और इंसान को जड़ों की जरूरत हमेशा बनी रहती है।
शादी विवेक पर कल्पना की विजय है।
नौकरी दो चीजों के लिए की जाती है - तनख्वाह और छुट्टियां ।
मृत्यु आनुवांशिक बीमारी है।
मित्र से उधार लेने के पहले सोचिये कि आपको किसकी जरूरत ज्यादा है - मित्र की या धन की ?
इंसान को दिमाग खुला रखना चाहिये, पर इतना भी नहीं कि भेजा निकल कर बाहर ही गिर पड़े।
यदि प्र्रत्येक चीज आपके रास्ते में आ रही हो तो समझ लीजिए कि आप गलत रास्ते पर जा रहे हैं।
अपने शत्रुओं की गलतियों को क्षमा करके देखो ........ यह बात उन्हें ज्यादा तकलीफ पहुंचाएगी।
पुरुषों के लिए जो बात निश्चित नहीं होती, महिलाएं उस पर तटस्थ रहती हैं।
जिसे मृत्यु कहते हैं, वह चीज है जिस पर लोग रोते हैं, फिर भी एक तिहाई जीवन सोने में गुजार दिया जाता है।
महिलाओं के दिल में एक खास कोना होता है, जिसे वे कभी किसी के साथ नहीं बांटतीं।
अगर संगत से ही तमाम खूबियां आ जातीं तो गन्ने में उगने वाले पौधों में रस क्यों नहीं होता ?
महिलाएं हमेशा पुरुषों के भूलने की आदत से परेशान रहती हैं, जबकि पुरुष महिलाओं की याद रखने की आदत से पीड़ित ।
प्रत्येक व्यक्ति की जरूरत होती है और कोई व्यक्ति अनिवार्य नहीं होता।
चूंकि प्रकाश की गति ध्वनि से तेज होती है इसलिए लोग तब तक अधिक सुन्दर प्रतीत होते हैं जब तक कि आप उन्हें बोलता हुआ न सुन लें।
यदि आप किसी को समझा नहीं पा रहे हैं, तो उसे उलझा दें।
यदि आप पहली बार में सफल न हों, तो अपनी असफलता के सारे चिन्ह मिटा दें।
जिंदगी 40 के पार शुरू होती है - गठिया वात, नजर की कमजोरी, याददाश्त कम होना आदि भी 40 के पार ही शुरू होते हैं।
महिलाओं के लिए राय : पुरुष के साथ खुश रहने के लिए उसे प्यार चाहे कम करें, समझने की कोशिश ज्यादा करें।
पुरुषों के लिए राय : महिला के साथ खुश रहने के लिए उसे बेशुमार प्यार करें और समझने की कोशिश कतई न करें।
सयानी स्त्री, पुरुष से जो भी कुछ कहती है उसमें एक डली शकर मिला देती है और पुरुष जो कुछ कहता है उसे एक डली नमक के साथ ग्रहण करती है।
काम दुनिया में सबसे बड़ी चीज है, इसलिये हमें चाहिये कि हमेशा कल के लिये भी रहने दिया करें।
मां को अपने बेटे को आदमी बनाने में बीस बरस लगते हैं और एक अन्य महिला उसे बीस मिनिट में बेवकूफ बना देती है।
अगर आप किसी बार बार आने वाले दुष्ट से पिण्ड छुड़ाना चाहते हैं तो उसे कुछ पैसा उधार दे दीजिये।
आदमी जवानी में सोचता है कि पैसा सबसे अहम चीज है और बुढ़ापे में यह हकीकत उस पर खुल जाती है।
पत्ते अच्छे हों तो आदमी ईमानदारी से खेलना पसंद करता है।
दुनिया में दो ही ट्रेजडी हैं : एक आप इच्छित वस्तु को पा न सकें; दूसरी उसे पा जायें।
किसी ऐसे काम को कभी कल पर नहीं टालना चाहिये, जिसे आप परसों कर सकें।
कायर के एक लिये एक साहसिक कार्य खुला हुआ है और वह है - शादी।
अगर ईश्वर न भी हो तो उसका आविष्कार कर लेना जरूरी है।
अपनी आमदनी के अन्दर खर्च करो चाहे इसके लिये तुम्हें कर्ज ही क्यों न लेना पड़े।
सच्चा प्रेम भूत की तरह है - चर्चा उसकी सब करते हैं, देखा किसी ने नहीं।
दुनिया में शायद ही कोई ऐसी सक्षम लड़की हो जो अपने को घर का काम करने में समर्थ समझती हो।
कुछ लोगों को खुश करने का एक ही तरीका है - आप फिसल कर गिर पड़ें।
अगर बुरे लोग न होते, तो अच्छे वकील न मिलते।
मानवजाति का अन्त यह होगा कि आखिर एक रोज वह सभ्यता से घुट मरेगी।
दुनिया में तीन चीजें हैं जिन्हें औरतें नहीं समझतीं - आजादी, बराबरी और भाईचारा।
हर औरत को शादी करनी चाहिये- पर मर्द को हरगिज नहीं।
बाबा आदम के जमाने से ही बेवकूफ बहुमत में रहते आये हैं।
आदमी की आधी जिंदगी उसके माता-पिता बिगाड़ देते हैं, बाकी आधी उसके बच्चे।
खूबसूरत औरत आंखों के लिये स्वर्ग है, आत्मा के लिये नरक है, और जेब के लिये दिवाला है।
कई बीवियां रखने में एक फायदा है; वे अपने पति से लड़ने की बजाय आपस में ही लड़ती रहती हैं।
गरीबों को याद रखो, इसमें कुछ खर्चा नहीं होता।
नाश्ते से पहले कुछ काम न करो; अगर नाश्ते से पहले कुछ करना ही पड़े, तो पहले नाश्ता करो।
अपनी आमदनी के अन्दर खर्च करो चाहे इसके लिये तुम्हें कर्ज ही क्यों न लेना पड़े।
खुदा बेवकूफों को महफूज रखे, उन्हें खत्म न हो जाने दे; क्योंकि अगर वो न रहे तो समझदारों की रोजी मुश्किल हो जायेगी।
अनुभव हमारे ज्ञान को बढ़ा देता है लेकिन हमारी बेवकूफियों को कम नहीं करता।
आर्टस्कूल वह जगह है जहां लड़कियां हाईस्कूल और शादी के बीच का वक्त गुजारती हैं।
गरीबी अमीरों लिये एक पहेली है; समझ में नहीं आता कि लोगों को खाना चाहिये तो वे घण्टी क्यों नहीं बजा देते।
कुछ फिल्मी सुन्दरियां मन्दिर में भी धूप का चश्मा पहनकर जाती हैं; उन्हें डर लगा रहता है कि कहीं भगवान उन्हें पहचान कर ऑटोग्राफ न मांग बैठें।
तन्दुरुस्ती वह चीज है जिससे आपको यह मालूम होता है कि साल का यही बेहतरीन वक्त है।
आदमी उतना बेवकूफ कभी नहीं बनता जितना उस वक्त जब कि वह किसी और को बेवकूफ बना रहा होता है।
प्रेम भूख से नहीं, कब्ज से मरता है।
किताबों का बाहुल्य हमें अज्ञानी बना रहा है।
पैसे के मामले में सबका मजहब एक है।
हमें जीना चाहिए और सीखना चाहिए; लेकिन जब हमारा सीखना खत्म होता है तब जीने के लिए वक्त नहीं रह जाता।
जो कर नहीं सकते, वे सिखाने लगते हैं।
साहित्य और पत्रकारिता में फर्क यह है कि पत्रकारिता पढ़ने लायक नहीं होती और साहित्य पढ़ा नहीं जाता ।
नैतिकता का पाठ बघारनेवाला अक्सर धूर्त होता है।
सन्त और पापी में केवल यह अन्तर है कि हर सन्त का एक भूतकाल होता है और हर पापी का एक भविष्य।
वह बेवकूफ है जो शादी करता है, लेकिन जो बेवकूफ से शादी नहीं करता वह और भी बड़ा बेवकूफ है।
औरतें अक्सर हमें महान कार्यों की प्रेरणा देती हैं और उन्हीं को करने नहीं देतीं।
लोग धर्म के लिए आपा-धापी करेंगे, उसके लिए लिखेंगे, उसके लिए लड़ेंगे, उसके लिए मरेंगे, सब करेंगे पर उसके लिए जिएंगे नहीं।
बहादुर आदमी साधारण आदमी से ज्यादा बहादुर नहीं होता, बस वह पांच मिनट ज्यादा बहादुर रहता है।
जितनी मेहनत से लोग नरक में जाते हैं, उससे आधी से स्वर्ग में जा सकते हैं।
जीवन, जीने की तैयारियों में ही बीत जाता है।
अगर आदमी की आधी इच्छाएं भी पूरी हो जाएं तो उसकी मुश्किलें दुगुनी हो जाएं।
लम्बी जिंदगी सब चाहते हैं, बूढ़ा होना कोई नहीं चाहता।
बच निकलने का सबसे अच्छा रास्ता हमेशा बीच में से होकर जाता है।
तीन आदमी किसी भेद को छुपाकर रख सकते हैं, अगर उनमें से दो मर जाएं।
जितने पैसे से एक व्यसन का निर्वाह होता है, उससे दो बच्चों की परवरिश हो सकती है।
आप समस्या से जितने दूर होंगे, उतने ही आदर्शवादी होंगे।
इतिहास से हम यह सीखते हैं कि - हमने इतिहास से कुछ नहीं सीखा।
व्याकरण की तरह जीवन में भी यह होता है कि - अपवादों की संख्या नियमों से भी बढ़ जाती है।
तमाम धर्म यौनिक सवालों की दीवानावार परिक्रमा कर रहे हैं।
बातचीत की कला का महान रहस्य है - खामोशी।
स्त्री प्रथम चुम्बन को याद रखती है जबकि पुरुष अन्तिम को भी भूल चुका होता है।
शादी जवानी की एक भूल है - जो कि हम सबको करनी चाहिए।
बहुत से लोगों के पास चरित्र होता है, और कुछ नहीं होता।
मौत की तरह शादी की भी कोई चिन्ता मत करो।
खुशी मुसीबत से भी बड़ी मुसीबत है।
कुछ लोगों के पास सिवाय अनुभव के कुछ नहीं होता।
हर बच्चे का शिक्षण उसके पैदा होने के सौ बरस पहले शुरू हो जाना चाहिए।
दो प्रकार के पुरुष स्त्रियों को नही समझते - विवाहित और कुंवारे ।
जो सरकारी नहीं होता वही तो असरकारी होता है।
एक आशावादी सोचता है कि गिलास आधा भरा है, निराशावादी का विचार होता है कि गिलास आधा खाली है, पर एक यथार्थवादी जानता है कि वह आसपास बना रहा तो अंतत: गिलास उसे ही धोना पड़ेगा।
प्रत्येक दिन को अपना अंतिम दिन मानकर चलो ..... एक दिन तुम सही साबित हो जाओगे ।
पैसा सारी बुराइयों की जड़ है...... और इंसान को जड़ों की जरूरत हमेशा बनी रहती है।
शादी विवेक पर कल्पना की विजय है।
नौकरी दो चीजों के लिए की जाती है - तनख्वाह और छुट्टियां ।
मृत्यु आनुवांशिक बीमारी है।
मित्र से उधार लेने के पहले सोचिये कि आपको किसकी जरूरत ज्यादा है - मित्र की या धन की ?
इंसान को दिमाग खुला रखना चाहिये, पर इतना भी नहीं कि भेजा निकल कर बाहर ही गिर पड़े।
यदि प्र्रत्येक चीज आपके रास्ते में आ रही हो तो समझ लीजिए कि आप गलत रास्ते पर जा रहे हैं।
अपने शत्रुओं की गलतियों को क्षमा करके देखो ........ यह बात उन्हें ज्यादा तकलीफ पहुंचाएगी।
पुरुषों के लिए जो बात निश्चित नहीं होती, महिलाएं उस पर तटस्थ रहती हैं।
जिसे मृत्यु कहते हैं, वह चीज है जिस पर लोग रोते हैं, फिर भी एक तिहाई जीवन सोने में गुजार दिया जाता है।
महिलाओं के दिल में एक खास कोना होता है, जिसे वे कभी किसी के साथ नहीं बांटतीं।
अगर संगत से ही तमाम खूबियां आ जातीं तो गन्ने में उगने वाले पौधों में रस क्यों नहीं होता ?
महिलाएं हमेशा पुरुषों के भूलने की आदत से परेशान रहती हैं, जबकि पुरुष महिलाओं की याद रखने की आदत से पीड़ित ।
प्रत्येक व्यक्ति की जरूरत होती है और कोई व्यक्ति अनिवार्य नहीं होता।
चूंकि प्रकाश की गति ध्वनि से तेज होती है इसलिए लोग तब तक अधिक सुन्दर प्रतीत होते हैं जब तक कि आप उन्हें बोलता हुआ न सुन लें।
यदि आप किसी को समझा नहीं पा रहे हैं, तो उसे उलझा दें।
यदि आप पहली बार में सफल न हों, तो अपनी असफलता के सारे चिन्ह मिटा दें।
जिंदगी 40 के पार शुरू होती है - गठिया वात, नजर की कमजोरी, याददाश्त कम होना आदि भी 40 के पार ही शुरू होते हैं।
महिलाओं के लिए राय : पुरुष के साथ खुश रहने के लिए उसे प्यार चाहे कम करें, समझने की कोशिश ज्यादा करें।
पुरुषों के लिए राय : महिला के साथ खुश रहने के लिए उसे बेशुमार प्यार करें और समझने की कोशिश कतई न करें।
सयानी स्त्री, पुरुष से जो भी कुछ कहती है उसमें एक डली शकर मिला देती है और पुरुष जो कुछ कहता है उसे एक डली नमक के साथ ग्रहण करती है।
काम दुनिया में सबसे बड़ी चीज है, इसलिये हमें चाहिये कि हमेशा कल के लिये भी रहने दिया करें।
मां को अपने बेटे को आदमी बनाने में बीस बरस लगते हैं और एक अन्य महिला उसे बीस मिनिट में बेवकूफ बना देती है।
अगर आप किसी बार बार आने वाले दुष्ट से पिण्ड छुड़ाना चाहते हैं तो उसे कुछ पैसा उधार दे दीजिये।
आदमी जवानी में सोचता है कि पैसा सबसे अहम चीज है और बुढ़ापे में यह हकीकत उस पर खुल जाती है।
पत्ते अच्छे हों तो आदमी ईमानदारी से खेलना पसंद करता है।
दुनिया में दो ही ट्रेजडी हैं : एक आप इच्छित वस्तु को पा न सकें; दूसरी उसे पा जायें।
किसी ऐसे काम को कभी कल पर नहीं टालना चाहिये, जिसे आप परसों कर सकें।
कायर के एक लिये एक साहसिक कार्य खुला हुआ है और वह है - शादी।
अगर ईश्वर न भी हो तो उसका आविष्कार कर लेना जरूरी है।
अपनी आमदनी के अन्दर खर्च करो चाहे इसके लिये तुम्हें कर्ज ही क्यों न लेना पड़े।
सच्चा प्रेम भूत की तरह है - चर्चा उसकी सब करते हैं, देखा किसी ने नहीं।
दुनिया में शायद ही कोई ऐसी सक्षम लड़की हो जो अपने को घर का काम करने में समर्थ समझती हो।
कुछ लोगों को खुश करने का एक ही तरीका है - आप फिसल कर गिर पड़ें।
अगर बुरे लोग न होते, तो अच्छे वकील न मिलते।
मानवजाति का अन्त यह होगा कि आखिर एक रोज वह सभ्यता से घुट मरेगी।
दुनिया में तीन चीजें हैं जिन्हें औरतें नहीं समझतीं - आजादी, बराबरी और भाईचारा।
हर औरत को शादी करनी चाहिये- पर मर्द को हरगिज नहीं।
बाबा आदम के जमाने से ही बेवकूफ बहुमत में रहते आये हैं।
आदमी की आधी जिंदगी उसके माता-पिता बिगाड़ देते हैं, बाकी आधी उसके बच्चे।
खूबसूरत औरत आंखों के लिये स्वर्ग है, आत्मा के लिये नरक है, और जेब के लिये दिवाला है।
कई बीवियां रखने में एक फायदा है; वे अपने पति से लड़ने की बजाय आपस में ही लड़ती रहती हैं।
गरीबों को याद रखो, इसमें कुछ खर्चा नहीं होता।
नाश्ते से पहले कुछ काम न करो; अगर नाश्ते से पहले कुछ करना ही पड़े, तो पहले नाश्ता करो।
अपनी आमदनी के अन्दर खर्च करो चाहे इसके लिये तुम्हें कर्ज ही क्यों न लेना पड़े।
खुदा बेवकूफों को महफूज रखे, उन्हें खत्म न हो जाने दे; क्योंकि अगर वो न रहे तो समझदारों की रोजी मुश्किल हो जायेगी।
अनुभव हमारे ज्ञान को बढ़ा देता है लेकिन हमारी बेवकूफियों को कम नहीं करता।
आर्टस्कूल वह जगह है जहां लड़कियां हाईस्कूल और शादी के बीच का वक्त गुजारती हैं।
गरीबी अमीरों लिये एक पहेली है; समझ में नहीं आता कि लोगों को खाना चाहिये तो वे घण्टी क्यों नहीं बजा देते।
कुछ फिल्मी सुन्दरियां मन्दिर में भी धूप का चश्मा पहनकर जाती हैं; उन्हें डर लगा रहता है कि कहीं भगवान उन्हें पहचान कर ऑटोग्राफ न मांग बैठें।
तन्दुरुस्ती वह चीज है जिससे आपको यह मालूम होता है कि साल का यही बेहतरीन वक्त है।
Monday, January 19, 2009
More Important to IT - certification or experience or Degree?
It is an age-old question: When you hire IT staff, is more consideration given to IT certifications or experience? Perhaps your company wants both. The Tech Herald recently posed this line of questioning to various companies to see what they had to say on the topic.
When it comes to IT, there is a high degree of mental ability needed for the job; not just for problem solving, but also so you can deal with stress as well. However, critical thinking and problem solving are something rarely taught, these things are instilled in each of us in one form or another. Some will be better at it than others, and this mix can help IT teams thrive.
There is also the granular expertise that is needed in IT. Most IT departments have team members who are, as an example, Microsoft Certified Professionals (MCP), and, depending on their area of focus, have proven they have the ability to manage Microsoft-based infrastructures with ease. There is also the argument that they have also proven they can memorize sample questions and answers at a local MCP boot camp -- but that’s a completely different issue.
However, each of these MCP certification holders will almost certainly know about more than just Microsoft. For example, some are likely Apache experts because the company uses that platform to run Web services. This mix of skill is required because of a few reasons, the largest being adaptability. Not every company can afford to hire a Linux/Unix system administrator, so the present IT staff has to adapt to the systems in use and know how to operate them.
There are IT teams where none of the staff has single certification, yet they run circles around certified IT people all the time. These 'jack of all trade' types are pure geeks, and know just a little bit about everything. What they do not know, their passion for technology drives them to learn and adapt to. With this type of IT team there is rarely a problem that cannot be solved. Research and information are their business, and business is good.
When asked “When you hire new IT staff, which do you consider more: certifications or experience?” most executives are split on the question. Some want both, some say it would depend on the job the person is being considered for, and others say one or the other. While most agreed on a few points, all of them showed that no single company sees things in the same light as another.
As one response put it: “While most technologists see things as black or white, choosing someone with a specific certification versus someone with specific experiences isn’t so binary.”
The next page highlights the responses that were given for this article. Each will offer insight into how the executives weigh each applicant when filling a job in IT. Businesses and IT managers are encouraged to chime in with opinions and thoughts in the comments section.
“As a CEO of high-tech company, we heavily rely on engineering and IT personnel that are extremely smart and are experts in what they do. Even though having a college certification is not good enough in itself, I believe it provides a certain level of filtration and proof of goal-oriented, dead-line driven work ethic. Therefore in our organization we require college degree as a bare minimum threshold, but expect to see experience and knowledge in the space as our fundamental recruitment guideline,” explained Cahit Akin, CEO of Mushroom Networks.
Another company uses both education and experience as a factor in their overall hiring process. “We’d rather hire very bright people on the assumption that they’ll figure out the rest. One example: for an entry-level software engineering position, we hired a very bright person with a bachelor’s degree in mathematics from Harvey Mudd College that had been working at Blockbuster Video for the previous two years as a store manager. It was a wise hire for Voltage, as the engineer is now a key contributor for one of our encryption products,” said John Weald, VP of Engineering at Voltage Security.
Weald added to this, giving a little more detail on the hiring process. He explained how Voltage screens candidates when making the choice between experience and education (certifications or college).
“Again it depends on the number of years of experience. Engineers with less than five years of experience need at least a bachelor’s degree in a computer or mathematics-related field from a school with a good reputation to make it past the resume-scanning phase at Voltage. Once they move onto the interview phase at Voltage, it is more important that the candidate can excel-we ask them problem-solving and computer science-related questions.
“If a candidate has many years of experience, then college and certification information becomes less important. Focus is then placed on progression in their career and positive learning experiences at each prior position. Here at Voltage Security we have a very rigorous interview process, where we ask candidates to solve complex problems. We’re not looking so much for the correct answer, but rather how they go about attempting the solution. Engineers that join the company often say that they enjoyed the interview process as it allowed them to stand out compared to others. We have such a rigorous interview process at Voltage because we’re trying to see, for example, if experienced engineers actually have ten years of experience or one year of experience ten times!”
In contrast, Max Huang, President of O2Security, gave a more pointed answer, saying: “Is college and certifications more important that experience and knowledge? No, experience and knowledge are more important than college and certifications. That is not to say that I do not value college and certifications; they are of great importance and statistically proven to increase the opportunity for employment in the IT industry. However, in my experience, individuals with real ‘use case’ experience have been able to adapt to various environments and contribute equally -- if not better -- than those with college degrees and certifications.”
When he hired new IT staff, Mr. Huang said that certification and experience are equally important, but maintains his opinion of experience over education. “I believe they are both important, but as I mentioned before, having real ‘use case’ experience and solid technical background in my experience is equally sufficient, if not better. Some entities require that you have basic certifications as a pre-requisite to pass a first-phase interview. However, I believe that you will get a real sense of the IT candidate once you get into the specifics of the technology you are hiring for.”
“There are two different issues here. One is the value of a college degree for IT staff and the other is certifications vs. experience,” explained Eric Basu, President and CEO of Sentek Consulting in his response to The Tech Herald.
“I'll address these questions in order. Over the years, the value of a college degree has had proven staying power. The "piece of paper" as I've heard it referred to, does have value for demonstrating a person's ability to commit to and achieve a significant education goal, if it's from a reputable school. Although everyone has several examples of successful senior executives and strategic thinkers without four year undergraduate degrees, these tend to be both exceptions and exceptional individuals. If hiring for a junior, technician type of position in IT, a degree is not required. For more senior and management positions, a degree is preferred. Certifications are useful for demonstrating that a candidate has the interest in a particular field and the ability to test well. Beyond that, they have little value in demonstrating aptitude at a particular IT skill set and experience in a specific area will always outweigh a certification.”
Sergey Blyashov, Chief Technology Officer of Enviance offered a solid example of hiring processes that drive the consulting market in IT, saying: “While most technologists see things as black or white, choosing someone with a specific certification versus someone with specific experiences isn’t so binary. Really, the answer depends on a number of factors including whether you are looking for a long term employee or someone to help shorter term on a project; whether this is this an entry-level or management position; or if this position has higher risk, ‘mission critical’ responsibilities (e.g. a production manager).”
Mr. Blyashov added, “If we were filling a permanent, long-term position for a relatively low risk job, we would weigh college knowledge above hands on experience because longer term, this person would be able to provide more substantial contributions over a number of years. Fundamentally, a solid education enables new employees to see the bigger picture and therefore make better, more informed decisions - knowing that experience comes with time and effort. On the other hand, if we needed a production support manager, our preference would be someone with hands-on, relevant experience able to quickly manage risk and improve productivity.”
Yet, Mr. Blyashov said that there are exceptions to his guidelines. “...the position dictates the answer to this question and each decision is dependent on the specific situation and needs at the time.”
Another consideration between experience and certification that was raised is the nature of the position the applicant is being hired for, especially if the job is government related.
“In our business it is generally not, however more and more of our work for the DoD requires labor categories that specify college degrees, certification and experience,” said Douglas W. Burke, CEO of DefenseWeb Technologies.
When asked to choose, Mr. Burke was crystal clear in his answer: “Experience. Anyone can get certification but not everyone can get experience and there is nothing like having experience in what you’re developing. The certification requirement we see the most is Project Management Institute (PMI) certification, rather than certifications for IT. We want employee who can work with the latest technologies and those technologies require experience. It is unlikely that the schools are ahead of someone who came out of a technology start up company using the latest software and tools.”
Justin Singer, President of SMBology, Inc. explained that: “Experience and knowledge [are] far and away more important than certifications. Certifications are nice. At a minimum, they show some level of dedication on the part of the individual. Beyond that, there are no guarantees. I have talked to plenty of people who are certified and can fire off [sic] answers to questions – they have no idea why the things they are saying are true. College ultimately provides a foundation.”
He added, “The curriculum of many colleges provides a shaky foundation at best, above which strong students persevere. The best programs provide a solid framework for problem solving. Either way, whatever knowledge and understanding is typically only on a very ideal level. College IT is about concepts and how they operate in an ideal world. Real world IT is about coping with the reality and challenges of the world. All experience is not created equal, but in general if an individual has been working in IT for a while, chances are they are much better at solving real world problems.”
Matt Chabot, VP of Managed Services at Tier 1net said: “Assuming we are referring to a mid to senior level position, experience and knowledge would be the first criteria for a candidate's resume to make it past the initial screening process. That by no means indicates that a college education and certification are not important. The candidate with a college education and experience would be far more valuable than the candidate with just experience.
“Nonetheless, Tier1net's primary focus is customer service and we find that that is not something that can be learned in college or a certification course. It takes a certain level of experience to be able to communicate professionally with non-technical staff, clients, management, etc. Its also experience that enables an IT professional to be able to evaluate and prioritize a technical issue with regards to how it is impacting someone's business. Still, a college education is a close second to experience because it provides one with the capacity to quickly process and retain new information in an ever-changing profession.”
Responding to that, Kit Rodgers, VP of Business Development & Licensing at Cryptography Research, said: “At Cryptography Research we feel that experience and knowledge are more important than college pedigree or certifications. A background with strong education and certifications can give an indicator of an individual's motivation, which is certainly helpful, though at the end of the day it is the individual's skills and capabilities that we care about. Also, perhaps just as important as experience and knowledge are technical aptitude, problem solving skills, and a "can do/team" attitude. We have a lot of complexity in our business, so finding the right technical team members is huge for us.”
Do you agree with the executives? Have an opinion or want to add your thoughts or personal experiences? Your voice can be heard via the comments section below.
When it comes to IT, there is a high degree of mental ability needed for the job; not just for problem solving, but also so you can deal with stress as well. However, critical thinking and problem solving are something rarely taught, these things are instilled in each of us in one form or another. Some will be better at it than others, and this mix can help IT teams thrive.
There is also the granular expertise that is needed in IT. Most IT departments have team members who are, as an example, Microsoft Certified Professionals (MCP), and, depending on their area of focus, have proven they have the ability to manage Microsoft-based infrastructures with ease. There is also the argument that they have also proven they can memorize sample questions and answers at a local MCP boot camp -- but that’s a completely different issue.
However, each of these MCP certification holders will almost certainly know about more than just Microsoft. For example, some are likely Apache experts because the company uses that platform to run Web services. This mix of skill is required because of a few reasons, the largest being adaptability. Not every company can afford to hire a Linux/Unix system administrator, so the present IT staff has to adapt to the systems in use and know how to operate them.
There are IT teams where none of the staff has single certification, yet they run circles around certified IT people all the time. These 'jack of all trade' types are pure geeks, and know just a little bit about everything. What they do not know, their passion for technology drives them to learn and adapt to. With this type of IT team there is rarely a problem that cannot be solved. Research and information are their business, and business is good.
When asked “When you hire new IT staff, which do you consider more: certifications or experience?” most executives are split on the question. Some want both, some say it would depend on the job the person is being considered for, and others say one or the other. While most agreed on a few points, all of them showed that no single company sees things in the same light as another.
As one response put it: “While most technologists see things as black or white, choosing someone with a specific certification versus someone with specific experiences isn’t so binary.”
The next page highlights the responses that were given for this article. Each will offer insight into how the executives weigh each applicant when filling a job in IT. Businesses and IT managers are encouraged to chime in with opinions and thoughts in the comments section.
“As a CEO of high-tech company, we heavily rely on engineering and IT personnel that are extremely smart and are experts in what they do. Even though having a college certification is not good enough in itself, I believe it provides a certain level of filtration and proof of goal-oriented, dead-line driven work ethic. Therefore in our organization we require college degree as a bare minimum threshold, but expect to see experience and knowledge in the space as our fundamental recruitment guideline,” explained Cahit Akin, CEO of Mushroom Networks.
Another company uses both education and experience as a factor in their overall hiring process. “We’d rather hire very bright people on the assumption that they’ll figure out the rest. One example: for an entry-level software engineering position, we hired a very bright person with a bachelor’s degree in mathematics from Harvey Mudd College that had been working at Blockbuster Video for the previous two years as a store manager. It was a wise hire for Voltage, as the engineer is now a key contributor for one of our encryption products,” said John Weald, VP of Engineering at Voltage Security.
Weald added to this, giving a little more detail on the hiring process. He explained how Voltage screens candidates when making the choice between experience and education (certifications or college).
“Again it depends on the number of years of experience. Engineers with less than five years of experience need at least a bachelor’s degree in a computer or mathematics-related field from a school with a good reputation to make it past the resume-scanning phase at Voltage. Once they move onto the interview phase at Voltage, it is more important that the candidate can excel-we ask them problem-solving and computer science-related questions.
“If a candidate has many years of experience, then college and certification information becomes less important. Focus is then placed on progression in their career and positive learning experiences at each prior position. Here at Voltage Security we have a very rigorous interview process, where we ask candidates to solve complex problems. We’re not looking so much for the correct answer, but rather how they go about attempting the solution. Engineers that join the company often say that they enjoyed the interview process as it allowed them to stand out compared to others. We have such a rigorous interview process at Voltage because we’re trying to see, for example, if experienced engineers actually have ten years of experience or one year of experience ten times!”
In contrast, Max Huang, President of O2Security, gave a more pointed answer, saying: “Is college and certifications more important that experience and knowledge? No, experience and knowledge are more important than college and certifications. That is not to say that I do not value college and certifications; they are of great importance and statistically proven to increase the opportunity for employment in the IT industry. However, in my experience, individuals with real ‘use case’ experience have been able to adapt to various environments and contribute equally -- if not better -- than those with college degrees and certifications.”
When he hired new IT staff, Mr. Huang said that certification and experience are equally important, but maintains his opinion of experience over education. “I believe they are both important, but as I mentioned before, having real ‘use case’ experience and solid technical background in my experience is equally sufficient, if not better. Some entities require that you have basic certifications as a pre-requisite to pass a first-phase interview. However, I believe that you will get a real sense of the IT candidate once you get into the specifics of the technology you are hiring for.”
“There are two different issues here. One is the value of a college degree for IT staff and the other is certifications vs. experience,” explained Eric Basu, President and CEO of Sentek Consulting in his response to The Tech Herald.
“I'll address these questions in order. Over the years, the value of a college degree has had proven staying power. The "piece of paper" as I've heard it referred to, does have value for demonstrating a person's ability to commit to and achieve a significant education goal, if it's from a reputable school. Although everyone has several examples of successful senior executives and strategic thinkers without four year undergraduate degrees, these tend to be both exceptions and exceptional individuals. If hiring for a junior, technician type of position in IT, a degree is not required. For more senior and management positions, a degree is preferred. Certifications are useful for demonstrating that a candidate has the interest in a particular field and the ability to test well. Beyond that, they have little value in demonstrating aptitude at a particular IT skill set and experience in a specific area will always outweigh a certification.”
Sergey Blyashov, Chief Technology Officer of Enviance offered a solid example of hiring processes that drive the consulting market in IT, saying: “While most technologists see things as black or white, choosing someone with a specific certification versus someone with specific experiences isn’t so binary. Really, the answer depends on a number of factors including whether you are looking for a long term employee or someone to help shorter term on a project; whether this is this an entry-level or management position; or if this position has higher risk, ‘mission critical’ responsibilities (e.g. a production manager).”
Mr. Blyashov added, “If we were filling a permanent, long-term position for a relatively low risk job, we would weigh college knowledge above hands on experience because longer term, this person would be able to provide more substantial contributions over a number of years. Fundamentally, a solid education enables new employees to see the bigger picture and therefore make better, more informed decisions - knowing that experience comes with time and effort. On the other hand, if we needed a production support manager, our preference would be someone with hands-on, relevant experience able to quickly manage risk and improve productivity.”
Yet, Mr. Blyashov said that there are exceptions to his guidelines. “...the position dictates the answer to this question and each decision is dependent on the specific situation and needs at the time.”
Another consideration between experience and certification that was raised is the nature of the position the applicant is being hired for, especially if the job is government related.
“In our business it is generally not, however more and more of our work for the DoD requires labor categories that specify college degrees, certification and experience,” said Douglas W. Burke, CEO of DefenseWeb Technologies.
When asked to choose, Mr. Burke was crystal clear in his answer: “Experience. Anyone can get certification but not everyone can get experience and there is nothing like having experience in what you’re developing. The certification requirement we see the most is Project Management Institute (PMI) certification, rather than certifications for IT. We want employee who can work with the latest technologies and those technologies require experience. It is unlikely that the schools are ahead of someone who came out of a technology start up company using the latest software and tools.”
Justin Singer, President of SMBology, Inc. explained that: “Experience and knowledge [are] far and away more important than certifications. Certifications are nice. At a minimum, they show some level of dedication on the part of the individual. Beyond that, there are no guarantees. I have talked to plenty of people who are certified and can fire off [sic] answers to questions – they have no idea why the things they are saying are true. College ultimately provides a foundation.”
He added, “The curriculum of many colleges provides a shaky foundation at best, above which strong students persevere. The best programs provide a solid framework for problem solving. Either way, whatever knowledge and understanding is typically only on a very ideal level. College IT is about concepts and how they operate in an ideal world. Real world IT is about coping with the reality and challenges of the world. All experience is not created equal, but in general if an individual has been working in IT for a while, chances are they are much better at solving real world problems.”
Matt Chabot, VP of Managed Services at Tier 1net said: “Assuming we are referring to a mid to senior level position, experience and knowledge would be the first criteria for a candidate's resume to make it past the initial screening process. That by no means indicates that a college education and certification are not important. The candidate with a college education and experience would be far more valuable than the candidate with just experience.
“Nonetheless, Tier1net's primary focus is customer service and we find that that is not something that can be learned in college or a certification course. It takes a certain level of experience to be able to communicate professionally with non-technical staff, clients, management, etc. Its also experience that enables an IT professional to be able to evaluate and prioritize a technical issue with regards to how it is impacting someone's business. Still, a college education is a close second to experience because it provides one with the capacity to quickly process and retain new information in an ever-changing profession.”
Responding to that, Kit Rodgers, VP of Business Development & Licensing at Cryptography Research, said: “At Cryptography Research we feel that experience and knowledge are more important than college pedigree or certifications. A background with strong education and certifications can give an indicator of an individual's motivation, which is certainly helpful, though at the end of the day it is the individual's skills and capabilities that we care about. Also, perhaps just as important as experience and knowledge are technical aptitude, problem solving skills, and a "can do/team" attitude. We have a lot of complexity in our business, so finding the right technical team members is huge for us.”
Do you agree with the executives? Have an opinion or want to add your thoughts or personal experiences? Your voice can be heard via the comments section below.
Exam Retake Policies
Detailed below are the retake policies for Microsoft, Novell, Cisco, Comptia and Linux.
Microsoft
Microsoft has revised its policy for retaking exams to increase security. If you do not pass an exam the first time, you may retake it at any time. If you do not achieve a passing score a second time, you must wait at least 14 days to retake the exam a third time. A 14-day waiting period will be imposed for all subsequent exam retakes. If you have passed an exam, you cannot take it again. Beta exams may be taken only once.
Novell
Novell has established a testing policy to outline conditions under which a candidate may retake a Novell exam. By imposing a wait period between exam retakes, the candidate has limited exposure to exam items and is dissuaded from memorizing exam items.
In the event a candidate fails a Novell exam on his or her first attempt, Novell will not require any waiting period between the first and second attempt to pass the same Novell exam. However, before any candidate’s third or subsequent attempt to pass a Novell exam, the candidate shall be required to wait for a period of no less than thirty (30) calendar days from the date of the candidate’s last attempt to pass the same exam.
In the event a candidate passes a Novell exam, the candidate shall be required to wait a period of twelve (12) months before retaking the same Novell exam, unless Novell has changed the test objectives by revising the course related to that specific exam.
In the event it has been determined a candidate has violated Novell’s exam retake policy, the candidate may not be eligible to register or schedule a Novell exam for a minimum period of twelve (12) months from the date of such determination.
Any candidate determined to have violated Novell’s exam retake policy may be subject to the following:
1. Denial of Novell certification for a period of twelve (12) months from the date of such determination or
2. Revocation of Novell certification, if such certification had been previously granted to the candidate or
3. Revocation of all Novell certifications previously granted to candidate or
4. Ineligibility to receive any Novell certification for a minimum of twelve (12) months from the date of such determination or
5. Any other appropriate actions, including legal remedies, that Novell deems necessary or appropriate to enforce Novell’s exam retake policy.
Cisco
Cisco has a retake policy requiring candidates to wait a minimum of 72-hours before retaking the same exam. Currently, there is no limit to the number of times a candidate can take the same certification exam before passing it.Once a candidate passes a particular exam they are not allowed to retake an exam having the same exam number.
Comptia
The CompTIA retake policy was established to outline conditions under which a candidate may retake a CompTIA certification test.
CompTIA addresses the following in the scope of this document:
1. Retake policy in the event that a candidate fails a CompTIA certification test
2. Retake policy in the event that a candidate passes a CompTIA certification test
3. Retake policy in the event that it is determined that a candidate violated CompTIA's candidate conduct policy
4. Remedies for violating the retake policy
CompTIA beta certification examinations may only be taken one (1) time by each candidate.
IN THE EVENT THAT A CANDIDATE FAILS A COMPTIA CERTIFICATION TEST - RETAKE POLICY:
In the event that a candidate fails his or her first (1st) attempt to pass any CompTIA certification test, CompTIA does not require any waiting period between the first (1st) and second (2nd) attempt to pass that same CompTIA certification test. However, before any candidate's third (3rd) attempt or any subsequent attempt to pass any CompTIA certification test, such candidate shall be required to wait for a period of at least thirty (30) calendar days from the date of such candidate's last attempt to pass such test.
IN THE EVENT THAT A CANDIDATE PASSES A COMPTIA CERTIFICATION TEST - RETAKE POLICY:
In the event that any candidate passes any CompTIA certification test, such candidate shall be required to wait for a period of twelve (12) calendar months before retaking the same CompTIA certification test, unless CompTIA has changed the test objectives for such test.
IN THE EVENT THAT IT IS DETERMINED THAT A CANDIDATE HAS VIOLATED COMPTIA'S CANDIDATE CONDUCT POLICY - RETAKE POLICY:
If it is determined that a candidate has violated CompTIA's candidate conduct policy, such candidate may not be eligible to register and/or schedule any CompTIA certification test for a minimum period of twelve (12) calendar months from the date of such determination, if determined necessary or appropriate by CompTIA based upon the seriousness of the incident or violation.
Linux
(Revised 19-Apr-2004)
The LPI Board voted on a policy regarding the delay required between re-taking exams:
Microsoft
Microsoft has revised its policy for retaking exams to increase security. If you do not pass an exam the first time, you may retake it at any time. If you do not achieve a passing score a second time, you must wait at least 14 days to retake the exam a third time. A 14-day waiting period will be imposed for all subsequent exam retakes. If you have passed an exam, you cannot take it again. Beta exams may be taken only once.
Novell
Novell has established a testing policy to outline conditions under which a candidate may retake a Novell exam. By imposing a wait period between exam retakes, the candidate has limited exposure to exam items and is dissuaded from memorizing exam items.
In the event a candidate fails a Novell exam on his or her first attempt, Novell will not require any waiting period between the first and second attempt to pass the same Novell exam. However, before any candidate’s third or subsequent attempt to pass a Novell exam, the candidate shall be required to wait for a period of no less than thirty (30) calendar days from the date of the candidate’s last attempt to pass the same exam.
In the event a candidate passes a Novell exam, the candidate shall be required to wait a period of twelve (12) months before retaking the same Novell exam, unless Novell has changed the test objectives by revising the course related to that specific exam.
In the event it has been determined a candidate has violated Novell’s exam retake policy, the candidate may not be eligible to register or schedule a Novell exam for a minimum period of twelve (12) months from the date of such determination.
Any candidate determined to have violated Novell’s exam retake policy may be subject to the following:
1. Denial of Novell certification for a period of twelve (12) months from the date of such determination or
2. Revocation of Novell certification, if such certification had been previously granted to the candidate or
3. Revocation of all Novell certifications previously granted to candidate or
4. Ineligibility to receive any Novell certification for a minimum of twelve (12) months from the date of such determination or
5. Any other appropriate actions, including legal remedies, that Novell deems necessary or appropriate to enforce Novell’s exam retake policy.
Cisco
Cisco has a retake policy requiring candidates to wait a minimum of 72-hours before retaking the same exam. Currently, there is no limit to the number of times a candidate can take the same certification exam before passing it.Once a candidate passes a particular exam they are not allowed to retake an exam having the same exam number.
Comptia
The CompTIA retake policy was established to outline conditions under which a candidate may retake a CompTIA certification test.
CompTIA addresses the following in the scope of this document:
1. Retake policy in the event that a candidate fails a CompTIA certification test
2. Retake policy in the event that a candidate passes a CompTIA certification test
3. Retake policy in the event that it is determined that a candidate violated CompTIA's candidate conduct policy
4. Remedies for violating the retake policy
CompTIA beta certification examinations may only be taken one (1) time by each candidate.
IN THE EVENT THAT A CANDIDATE FAILS A COMPTIA CERTIFICATION TEST - RETAKE POLICY:
In the event that a candidate fails his or her first (1st) attempt to pass any CompTIA certification test, CompTIA does not require any waiting period between the first (1st) and second (2nd) attempt to pass that same CompTIA certification test. However, before any candidate's third (3rd) attempt or any subsequent attempt to pass any CompTIA certification test, such candidate shall be required to wait for a period of at least thirty (30) calendar days from the date of such candidate's last attempt to pass such test.
IN THE EVENT THAT A CANDIDATE PASSES A COMPTIA CERTIFICATION TEST - RETAKE POLICY:
In the event that any candidate passes any CompTIA certification test, such candidate shall be required to wait for a period of twelve (12) calendar months before retaking the same CompTIA certification test, unless CompTIA has changed the test objectives for such test.
IN THE EVENT THAT IT IS DETERMINED THAT A CANDIDATE HAS VIOLATED COMPTIA'S CANDIDATE CONDUCT POLICY - RETAKE POLICY:
If it is determined that a candidate has violated CompTIA's candidate conduct policy, such candidate may not be eligible to register and/or schedule any CompTIA certification test for a minimum period of twelve (12) calendar months from the date of such determination, if determined necessary or appropriate by CompTIA based upon the seriousness of the incident or violation.
Linux
(Revised 19-Apr-2004)
The LPI Board voted on a policy regarding the delay required between re-taking exams:
- Anyone who takes an LPI exam once must wait one week before re-taking.
- Anyone who takes an LPI exam a second (and subsequent) time must wait 90 days before re-taking.
- Anyone who passes an LPI exam may not retake that exam for at least two years.
PHOBIAS
Types Of Phobias List: A
- Ablutophobia - Fear of washing or bathing.
- Acarophobia - Fear of itching or of the insects that cause itching.
- Acerophobia - Fear of sourness.
- Achluophobia - Fear of darkness.
- Acousticophobia - Fear of noise.
- Aeroacrophobia - Fear of open high places.
- Aeronausiphobia - Fear of vomiting secondary to airsickness.
- Aerophobia - Fear of drafts, air swallowing, or airborne noxious substances.
- Agliophobia - Fear of pain.
- Agoraphobia - Fear of open spaces or of being in crowded, public places like markets. Fear of leaving a safe place. Fear of crowds.
- Agraphobia - Fear of sexual abuse.
- Agrizoophobia - Fear of wild animals.
- Agyrophobia - Fear of streets or crossing the street.
- Aichmophobia - Fear of needles or pointed objects.
- Ailurophobia - Fear of cats.
- Albuminurophobia - Fear of kidney disease.
- Alektorophobia - Fear of chickens.
- Algophobia - Fear of pain.
- Alliumphobia - Fear of garlic.
- Allodoxaphobia - Fear of opinions.
- Altophobia - Fear of heights.
- Amathophobia - Fear of dust.
- Amaxophobia - Fear of riding in a car.
- Ambulophobia - Fear of walking.
- Amnesiphobia - Fear of amnesia.
- Amychophobia - Fear of scratches or being scratched.
- Anablephobia - Fear of looking up.
- Ancraophobia - Fear of wind.
- Androphobia - Fear of men.
- Anemophobia - Fear of air drafts or wind.
Anemophobia - Fear of wind. - Anginophobia - Fear of angina, choking of narrowness.
- Anglophobia - Fear of England, English culture, ect.
- Angrophobia - Fear of becoming angry.
- Ankylophobia - Fear of immobility of a joint.
- Anthophobia - Fear of flowers.
- Anthrophobia - Fear of flowers.
- Anthropophobia - Fear of people of society.
- Antlophobia - Fear of floods.
- Anuptaphobia - Fear of staying single.
- Apeirophobia - Fear of infinity.
- Aphenphosmphobia - Fear of being touched.
- Apiphobia - Fear of bees.
- Apotemnophobia - Fear of persons with amputations.
- Arachibutyrophobia - Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
- Arachnephobiba - Fear of spiders.
- Arachnophobia - Fear of spiders.
- Arithmophobia - Fear of numbers.
- Arrhenophobia - Fear of men.
- Arsonphobia - Fear of fire.
- Ashenophobia - Fear of fainting or weakness.
- Astraphobia - Fear of thunder and lightning.
- Astrapophobia - Fear of thunder and lightning.
- Astrophobia - Fear of stars and celestial space.
- Asymmetriphobia - Fear of asymmetrical things.
- Ataxiophobia - Fear of ataxia (muscular incoordination)
- Ataxophobia - Fear of disorder or untidiness.
- Atelophobia - Fear of imperfection.
- Atephobia - Fear of ruin or ruins.
- Athazagoraphobia - Fear of being forgotten or ignored or forgetting.
- Atomosophobia - Fear of atomic explosions.
- Atychiphobia - Fear of failure.
- Aulophobia - Fear of flutes.
- Aurophobia - Fear of gold.
- Auroraphobia - Fear of Northern Lights.
- Autodysomophobia - Fear that one has a vile odor.
- Automatonophobia - Fear of ventriloquist's dummies, animatronic creatures, wax statues-anything that falsely represents a sentient being.
- Automysophobia - Fear of being dirty.
- Autophobia - Fear of being alone or of oneself.
- Aviatophobia - Fear of flying.
- Aviophobia - Fear of flying.
Types of Phobia: BComplete Types of Phobia List
- Bacillophobia - Fear of microbes.
- Bacteriophobia - Fear of bacteria.
- Balenephobia - Fear of pins and needles.
- Ballistophobia - Fear of missles or bullets.
- Barophobia - Fear of gravity.
- Basiphobia - Inability to stand. Fear of walking or falling.
- Basophobia - Inability to stand. Fear of walking or falling.
- Bathophobia - Fear of depth.
- Batonophobia - Fear of plants.
- Batophobia - Fear of heights or being close to high buildings.
- Batrachophobia - Fear of amphibians, such as frogs, newts, salamanders.
- Bibliophobia - Fear of books.
- Blennophobia - Fear of slime.
- Bogyphobia - Fear of bogies or the bogeyman.
- Bolshephobia - Fear of Bulsheviks.
- Bromidrophobia - Fear of body smells.
- Bromidrosiphobia - Fear of body smells.
- Brontophobia - Fear of thunder and lightning.
- Bufonophobia - Fear of toads.
Types of Phobia: CComplete Types of Phobia List
- Cacophobia - Fear of ugliness.
- Cainophobia - Fear of newness, novelty.
- Cainotophobia - Fear of newness, novelty.
- Caligynephobia - Fear of beautiful women.
- Cancerophobia - Fear of cancer.
- Carcinophobia - Fear of cancer.
- Cardiophobia - Fear of the heart.
- Carnophobia - Fear of meat.
- Catagelophobia - Fear of being ridiculed.
- Catapedaphobia - Fear of jumping from high and low places.
- Cathisophobia - Fear of sitting.
- Catoptrophobia - Fear of mirrors.
- Cenophobia - Fear of new things or ideas.
- Centophobia - Fear of new things or ideas.
- Ceraunophobia - Fear of thunder.
- Chaetophobia - Fear of hair.
- Cheimaphobia - Fear of cold.
- Cheimatophobia - Fear of cold.
- Chemophobia - Fear of chemicals or working with chemicals.
- Cherophobia - Fear of gaiety.
- Chionophobia - Fear of snow.
- Chiraptophobia - Fear of being touched.
- Cholerophobia - Fear of anger or the fear of cholera.
- Chorophobia - Fear of dancing.
- Chrematophobia - Fear of money.
- Chromatophobia - Fear of colors.
- Chrometophobia - Fear of money.
- Chromophobia - Fear of colors.
- Chronomentrophobia - Fear of clocks.
- Chronophobia - Fear of time.
- Cibophobia - Fear of food.
- Claustrophobia - Fear of confined spaces.
- Cleisiophobia - Fear of being locked in an enclosed place.
- Cleithrophobia - Fear of being enclosed.
- Cleithrophobia - Fear of being locked in an enclosed place.
- Cleptophobia - Fear of stealing.
- Climacophobia - Fear of stairs, climbing or of falling downstairs.
- Clinophobia - Fear of going to bed.
- Clithrophobia - Fear of being enclosed.
- Cnidophobia - Fear of strings.
- Coimetrophobia - Fear of cemeteries.
- Coitophobia - Fear of coitus.
- Cometophobia - Fear of comets.
- Contreltophobia - Fear of sexual abuse.
- Coprastasophobia - Fear of constipation.
- Coprophobia - Fear of feces.
- Coulrophobia - Fear of clowns.
- Counterphobia - The preference by a phobic for fearful situations.
- Cremnophobia - Fear of precipices.
- Cryophobia - Fear fo extreme cold, ice or frost.
- Crystallophobia - Fear of crystals or glass.
- Cyberphobia - Fear of computers or working on a computer.
- Cyclophobia - Fear of bicycles.
- Cymophobia - Fear of waves or wave like motions.
- Cynophobia - Fear of dogs or rabies.
- Cyprianophobia - Fear of prostitutes or venereal disease.
- Cypridophobia - Fear of prostitutes or venereal disease.
- Cyprinophobia - Fear of prostitutes or venereal disease.
- Cypriphobia - Fear of prostitutes or venereal disease.
Types of Phobia: DComplete Types of Phobia List
- Daemonophobia - Fear of demons.
- Decidophobia - Fear of making decisions.
- Defecaloesiphobia - Fear of painful bowels movements.
- Deipnophobia - Fear of dining and dinner conversation.
- Dematophobia - Fear of skin lesions.
- Dementophobia - Fear of insanity.
- Demonophobia - Fear of demons.
- Demophobia - Fear of crowds.
- Dendrophobia - Fear of trees.
- Dentophobia - Fear of dentist.
- Dermatophathophobia - Fear of skin disease.
- Dermatophobia - Fear of skin disease.
- Dermatosiophobia - Fear of skin disease.
- Dextrophobia - Fear of objects at the right side of the body.
- Diabetophobia - Fear of diabetes.
- Didaskaleinophobia - Fear of going to school.
- Diderodromophobia - Fear of trains, railroads or train travel.
- Dikephobia - Fear of justice.
- Dinophobia - Fear of dizziness or whirlpools.
- Diplophobia - Fear of double vision.
- Dipsophobia - Fear drinking.
- Dishabiliophobia - Fear of undressing in front of someone.
- Domatophobia - Fear of houses or being in a home.
- Doraphobia - Fear of fur or skins of animals .
- Dromophobia - Fear of crossing streets.
- Dutchphobia - Fear of the Dutch.
- Dysmorphophobia - Fear of deformity.
- Dystychiphobia - Fear of accidents.
Types of Phobia: EComplete Types of Phobia List
- Ecclesiophobia - Fear of church.
- Ecophobia - Fear of home.
- Eicophobia - Fear of home surroundings.
- Eisoptrophobia - Fear of mirrors or of seeing oneself in a mirror.
- Electrophobia - Fear of electricity.
- Eleutherophobia - Fear of freedom.
- Elurophobia - Fear of cats.
- Emetophobia - Fear of vomiting.
- Enetophobia - Fear of pins.
- Enissophobia - Fear of having committed an unpardonable sin or of criticism.
- Enochlophobia - Fear of crowds.
- Enosiophobia - Fear of having committed an unpardonable sin or of criticism.
- Entomophobia - Fear of insects.
- Eosophobia - Fear of dawn or daylight.
- Epistaxiophobia - Fear of nosebleeds.
- Epistemphobia - Fear of knowledge.
- Equinophobia - Fear of hourse.
- Eremophobia - Fear of being oneself or of lonliness.
- Ereuthophobia - Fear of redlights.
- Ereuthrophobia - Fear of blushing.
- Ergasiophobia - Fear of work or functioning.Surgeon's fear of operating.
- Ergophobia - Fear of work.
- Erotophobia - Fear of sexual love or sexual questions.
- Erythrophobia - Fear of redlights. Fear of blushing. Fear of red.
- Erytophobia - Fear of redlights. Fear of blushing. Fear of red.
- Euphobia - Fear of hearing good news.
- Eurotophobia - Fear of female genitalia.
Types of Phobia: FComplete Types of Phobia List
- Febriphobia - Fear of fever.
- Felinophobia - Fear of cats.
- Fibriophobia - Fear of fever.
- Fibriphobia - Fear of fever.
- Francophobia - Fear of France, French culture.
Types of Phobia: GComplete Types of Phobia List
- Galeophobia - Fear of cats.
- Galiophobia - Fear of France, French culture.
- Gallophobia - Fear of France, French culture.
- Gamophobia - Fear of marriage.
- Gatophobia - Fear of cats.
- Geliophobia - Fear of laughter.
- Geniophobia - Fear of chins.
- Genophobia - Fear of sex.
- Genuphobia - Fear of knees.
- Gephydrophobia - Fear of crossing bridges.
- Gephyrophobia - Fear of crossing bridges.
- Gephysrophobia - Fear of crossing bridges.
- Gerascophobia - Fear of growing old.
- Germanophobia - Fear of Germany, German culture, etc.
- Gerontophobia - Fear of old people or of growing old.
- Geumaphobia - Fear of taste.
- Geumophobia - Fear of taste.
- Glossophobia - Fear of speaking in public or of trying to speak.
- Gnosiophobia - Fear of knowledge.
- Graphophobia - Fear of writing or handwritting.
- Gymnophobia - Fear of nudity.
- Gynephobia - Fear of women.
- Gynophobia - Fear of women.
Types of Phobia: HComplete Types of Phobia List
- Hadephobia - Fear of hell.
- Hagiophobia - Fear of saints or holy things.
- Hamartophobia - Fear of sinning.
- Haphephobia - Fear of being touched.
- Haptephobia - Fear of being touched.
- Harpaxophobia - Fear of being robbed.
- Hedonophobia - Fear of feeling pleasure.
- Heliophobia - Fear of the sun.
- Hellenologophobia - Fear of Greek terms or complex scientific terminology.
- Helminthophobia - Fear of being infested with worms.
- Hemaphobia - Fear of blood.
- Hematophobia - Fear of blood.
- Hemophobia - Fear of blood.
- Hereiophobia - Fear of challenges to official doctrine or of radical deviation.
- Heresyphobia - Fear of challenges to official doctrine or radical deviation.
- Herpetophobia - Fear of reptiles or creepy, crawly things.
- Heterophobia - Fear of the opposite sex.
- Hierophobia - Fear of priest or sacred things.
- Hippophobia - Fear of horses.
- Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - Fear of long words.
- Hobophobia - Fear of bums or beggars.
- Hodophobia - Fear of road travel.
- Homichlophobia - Fear of fog.
- Homilophobia - Fear of sermons.
- Hominophobia - Fear of men.
- Homophobia - Fear of sameness, monotony or of homosexuality or of becoming homosexual.
- Hoplophobia - Fear of firearms.
- Hormephobia - Fear of shock.
- Hydrargyophobia - Fear of mercuial medicines.
- Hydrophobia - Fear of water of of rabies.
- Hydrophobophobia - Fear or rabies.
- Hyelophobia - Fear of glass.
- Hygrophobia - Fear of liquids, dampness, or moisture.
- Hylephobia - Fear of materialism or the fear of epilepsy.
- Hylophobia - Fear of forests.
- Hynophobia - Fear of sleep or of being hypnotized.
- Hypegiaphobia - Fear of responsibility.
- Hypengyophobia - Fear of responsibility.
- Hypertrichophobia - Fear of hair.
- Hypsiphobia - Fear of height.
Types of Phobia: IComplete Types of Phobia List
- Iatrophobia - Fear of going to the doctor or doctors.
- Ichthyophobia - Fear of fish.
- Ideophobia - Fear of ideas.
- Illyngophobia - Fear of vertigo or feeling dizzy when looking down.
- Insectophobia - Fear of insects.
- Iophobia - Fear of poison.
- Isolophobia - Fear of solitude, being alone.
- Isopterophobia - Fear of termites, insects that eat wood.
- Ithyphallophobia - Fear of seeing, thinking about, or having an erect penis.
Types of Phobia: JComplete Types of Phobia List
- Japanophobia - Fear of Japanese.
- Judeophobia - Fear of Jews.
Types of Phobia: KComplete Types of Phobia List
- Kainolophobia - Fear of novelty.
- Kainophobia - Fear of anything new, novelty.
- Kakorrhaphiophobia - Fear of failure or defeat.
- Katagelophobia - Fear of ridicule.
- Kathisophobia - Fear of sitting down.
- Kenophobia - Fear of voids or empty spaces.
- Keraunophobia - Fear of thunder and lightning.
- Kinesophobia - Fear of movement or motion.
- Kinetophobia - Fear of movement or motion.
- Kleptophobia - Fear of movement or motion.
- Koinoniphobia - Fear of rooms.
- Kolpophobia - Fear of genitals, particulary female.
- Koniophobia - Fear of dust.
- Kopophobia - Fear of fatigue.
- Kosmikophobi - Fear of cosmic phenomenon.
- Kymophobia - Fear of waves.
- Kynophobia - Fear of rabies.
- Kyphophobia - Fear of stooping.
Types of Phobia: LComplete Types of Phobia List
- Lachanophobia - Fear of vegitables.
- Laliophobia - Fear of speaking.
- Lalophobia - Fear of speaking.
- Lepraphobia - Fear of leprosy.
- Leprophobia - Fear of leprosy.
- Leukophobia - Fear of the color white.
- Levophobia - Fear of things to the left side of the body.
- Ligyrophobia - Fear of loud noises.
- Lilapsophobia - Fear of tornadoes and hurricanes.
- Limnophobia - Fear of lakes.
- Linonophobia - Fear of string.
- Liticaphobia - Fear of lawsuits.
- Lockiophobia - Fear fo childbirth.
- Logizomechanophobia - Fear of computers.
- Logophobia - Fear of words.
- Luiphobia - Fear of lues, syphillis.
- Lutraphobia - Fear of otters.
- Lygophobia - Fear of darkness.
- Lysssophobia - Fear of rabies or of becoming mad.
Types of Phobia: MComplete Types of Phobia List
- Macrophobia - Fear of long waits.
- Mageirocophobia- Fear of cooking.
- Maieusiophobia - Fear of childbirth.
- Malaxophobia - Fear of love play.
- Maniaphobia - Fear of insanity.
- Mastigophobia - Fear of punishment.
- Mechanophobia - Fear of machines.
- Medomalacuphobia - Fear of losing an erection.
- Medorthophobia - Fear of an erect penis.
- Megalophobia - Fear of large things.
- Melanophobia - Fear of the color black.
- Melissophobia - Fear of bees.
- Melophobia - Fear of hatred or music.
- Meningitiophobia - Fear of brain disease.
- Merinthophobia - Fear of being bound or tied up.
- Mertophobia - Fear or hatred of poetry.
- Metallophobia - Fear of metal.
- Metathesiophobia - Fear of changes.
- Meterorophobia - Fear of Meteors.
- Methyphobia - Fear of alcohol.
- Microbiophobia - Fear of microbes.
- Microphobia - Fear of small things.
- Misophobia - Fear of being contaminated with dirt or germs.
- Mnemophobia - Fear of memories.
- Molysmophobia - Fear of dirt or contamination.
- Molysomophobia - Fear of dirt or contamination.
- Monopathophobia - Fear of difinite disease.
- Monophobia - Fear of solitude or being alone.
- Monophobia - Fear of menstruation.
- Motorphobia - Fear of automobiles.
- Mottophobia - Fear of moths.
- Murophobia - Fear of mice.
- Musophobia - Fear of mice.
- Mycophobia - Fear or aversion to mushrooms.
- Mycrophobia - Fear of small things.
- Myctophobia - Fear of darkness.
- Myrmecophobia - Fear of ants.
- Mysophobia - Fear of germs or contamination or dirt.
- Mythophobia - Fear of myths or stories or false statements.
- Myxophobia - Fear of slime.
Types of Phobia: NComplete Types of Phobia List
- Namatophobia - Fear of names.
- Nebulaphobia - Fear of fog.
- Necrophobia - Fear of death or or dead things.
- Nelophobia - Fear of glass.
- Neopharmaphobia - Fear of new drugs.
- Neophobia - Fear of anything new.
- Nephophobia - Fear of clouds.
- Noctiphobia - Fear of the night.
- Nosemaphobia - Fear of becoming ill.
- Nosocomephobia - Fear of hospitals.
- Nosophobia - Fear of becoming ill.
- Nostophobia - Fear of returning home.
- Novercaphobia - Fear of your step-mother.
- Nucleomituphobia - Fear of nuclear weapons.
- Nudophobia - Fear of nudity.
- Numerophobia - Fear of numbers.
- Nyctohlophobia - Fear of dark wooded areas, of forest at night.
- Nyctophobia - Fear of the dark or of the night.
Types of Phobia: OComplete Types of Phobia List
- Obesophobia - Fear of gaining weight.
- Ochlophobia - Fear of crowds or mobs.
- Ochophobia - Fear of vehicles.
- Octophobia - Fear of the figure 8.
- Odontophobia - Fear of teeth or dental surgery.
- Odynephobia - Fear of pain.
- Odynophobia - Fear of pain.
- Oenophobia - Fear of wines.
- Oikophobia - Fear of home surroundings, house.
- Oikophobia - Fear of houses or being in a house.
- Oikophobia - Fear of home surroundings.
- Olfactophobia - Fear of smells.
- Ombrophobia - Fear of rain or being rained on.
- Ommatophobia - Fear of eyes.
- Ommetaphobia - Fear of eyes.
- Oneirogmophobia - Fear of wet dreams.
- Oneirophobia - Fear of dreams.
- Onomatophobia - Fear of hearing a certain word or names.
- Ophidiophobia - Fear of snakes.
- Opthalmophobia - Fear of being stared at.
- Optophobia - Fear of opening one's eyes.
- Ornithophobia - Fear of birds.
- Orthophobia - Fear of property.
- Osmophobia - Fear of smells or odors.
- Osphesiophobia - Fear of smells or odors.
- Ostraconophobia - Fear of shellfish.
- Ouranophobia - Fear of heaven.
Types of Phobia: PComplete Types of Phobia List
- Pagophobia - Fear of ice or frost.
- Panophobia - Fear of everything.
- Panthophobia - Fear of suffering and disease.
- Pantophobia - Fear of everything.
- Papaphobia - Fear fo the Pope.
- Papyrophobia - Fear of paper.
- Paralipophobia - Fear of neglecting duty or responsibility.
- Paraphobia - Fear of sexual perversion.
- Parasitophobia - Fear of parasites.
- Paraskavedekatriaphobia - Fear of Friday the 13th.
- Parthenophobia - Fear of virgins or young girls.
- Parturiphobia - Fear of childbirth.
- Pathophobia - Fear of disease.
- Patroiophobia - Fear of heredity.
- Peccatophobia - Fear of sinning.
- Pediculophobia - Fear of lice.
- Pediophobia - Fear of dolls.
- Pedophobia - Fear of children.
- Peladophobia - Fear of bald people.
- Pellagrophobia - Fear of pellagra.
- Peniaphobioa - Fear of poverty.
- Pentheraphobia - Fear of mother-in-law.
- Phagophobia - Fear of swallowing or eating or of being eaten.
- Phalacrophobia - Fear of becoming bald.
- Phallophobia - Fear of penis, esp erect.
- Pharmacophobia - Fear of taking medicine.
- Pharmacophobia - Fear of drugs.
- Phasmophobia - Fear of ghost.
- Phengophobia - Fear of daylight or sunshine.
- Philemaphobia - Fear of kissing.
- Philematophobia - Fear of kissing.
- Philophobia - Fear of falling in love or being in love.
- Philosophobia - Fear of philosophy.
- Phobophobia - Fear of phobias.
- Phonophobia - Fear of noises or voices or one's own voice; of telephones.
- Photoaugliaphobia - Fear of glaring lights.
- Photophobia - Fear of light.
- Phronemophobia - Fear of thinking.
- Phthiriophobia - Fear of lice.
- Phthisiophobia - Fear of tuberculosis.
- Placophobia - Fear of tombstones.
- Plutophobia - Fear of wealth.
- Pluviophobia - Fear of rain or of being rained on.
- Pneumatiphobia - Fear of spirits.
- Pnigerophobia - Fear of choking or of being smothered.
- Pnigophobia - Fear of choking or of being smothered.
- Pocrescophobia - Fear of gaining weight.
- Pocresophobia - Fear of gaining weight.
- Pogonophobia - Fear of beards.
- Poinephobia - Fear of punishment.
- Poliosophobia - Fear of contracting poliomyelitis.
- Politicophobia - Fear or abnormal dislike of politicians.
- Polyphobia - Fear of many things.
- Ponophobia - Fear of overworking or of pain.
- Porphyrophobia - Fear of the color purple.
- Potamophobia - Fear of rivers or running water.
- Potophobia - Fear of alcohol.
- Proctophobia - Fear or rectum.
- Prosophobia - Fear of progress.
- Psellismophobia - Fear of stuttering.
- Psychophobia - Fear of mind.
- Psychrophobia - Fear of cold.
- Pteromerhanophobia - Fear of flying.
- Pteronophobia - Fear of being tickled by feathers.
- Pupaphobia - Fear of puppets.
- Pyrexiophobia - Fear of fever.
- Pyrophobia - Fear of fire.
Types of Phobia: QComplete Types of Phobia List
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Types of Phobia: RComplete Types of Phobia List
- Radiophobia - Fear of radiation, x-rays.
- Ranidaphobia - Fear of frogs.
- Rectophobia - Fear of rectum or rectal diseases.
- Rhabdophobia - Fear of being severely punished or beaten by a rod, or of being severely criticized. Also fear of magic (wand).
- Rhypophobia - Fear of defecation.
- Rhytiphobia - Fear of getting wrinkles.
- Rupophobia - Fear of dirt.
- Russophobia - Fear of Russians.
Types of Phobia: SComplete Types of Phobia List
- Samhainophobia - Fear of Halloween.
- Sarmassophobia - Fear of love play.
- Sarmassophobia - Fear of love play.
- Satanophobia - Fear of Satin.
- Scabiophobia - Fear of scabies.
- Scatophobia - Fear of fecal matter.
- Scelerophobia - Fear of bad men, burglars.
- Sciaphobia - Fear of shadows.
- Sciophobia - Fear of shadows.
- Scoionophobia - Fear of school.
- Scoleciphobia - Fear of worms.
- Scopophobia - Fear of being seen or stared at.
- Scoptophobia - Fear of being seen or stared at.
- Scotomaphobia - Fear of blindness in visual field.
- Scotophobia - Fear of darkness.
- Scriptophobia - Fear of writing in public.
- Selaphobia - Fear of light flashes.
- Selenophobia - Fear of the moon.
- Seplophobia - Fear of decaying matter.
- Sesquipedalophobia - Fear of long words.
- Sexophobia - Fear of the opposit sex.
- Sexophobia - Fear of the opposite sex.
- Siderophobia - Fear of stars.
- Sinistrophobia - Fear of things to the left, left-handed.
- Sinophobia - Fear of Chinese, Chinese culture.
- Sitiophobia - Fear of food.
- Sitiophobia - Fear of food or eating.
- Sitophobia - Fear of food or eating.
- Sitophobia - Fear of food.
- Snakephobia - Fear of snakes.
- Soceraphobia - Fear of parents-in-law.
- Social Phobia - Fear of being evaluated negatively in social situations.
- Sociophobia - Fear of society or people in general.
- Somniphobia - Fear of sleep.
- Sophophobia - Fear of learning.
- Soteriophobia - Fear of dependence on others.
- Spacephobia - Fear of outer space.
- Spectrophobia - Fear of specters or ghosts.
- Spermatophobia - Fear of germs.
- Spermophobia - Fear of germs.
- Spheksophobia - Fear of wasps.
- Stasibasiphobia - Fear fo standing or walking.
- Stasiphobia - Fear of standing or walking.
- Staurophobia - Fear of crosses or the crucifix.
- Stenophobia - Fear of narrow things or places.
- Stigiophobia - Fear of hell.
- Stygiophobia - Fear of hell.
- Suriphobia - Fear of mice.
- Symbolophobia - Fear of symbolism.
- Symmetrophobia - Fear of symmetry.
- Syngenesophobia - Fear of relatives.
- Syphilophobia - Fear of syphilis.
Types of Phobia: TComplete Types of Phobia List
- Tachophobia - Fear of speed.
- Taeniophobia - Fear of tapeworms.
- Teniophobia - Fear of tapeworms.
- Taphephobia - Fear of being buried alive or of cemeteries.
- Taphophobia - Fear of being buried alive or of cemeteries.
- Tapinophobia - Fear of being contagious.
- Taurophobia - Fear of bulls.
- Technophobia - Fear of technology.
- Teleophobia - Fear fo difinite plans. Fear of Religious ceremony.
- Telephonophobia - Fear of telephones.
- Teratophobia - Fear of bearing a deformed child or fear of monsters or deformed people.
- Testaphobia - Fear of taking test.
- Tetanophobia - Fear of lockjaw, tetnus.
- Teutophobia - Fear of German or German things.
- Textophobia - Fear of certain fabrics.
- Thaasophobia - Fear of sitting.
- Thalassophobia - Fear of the sea.
- Thanatophobia - Fear of death or dying.
- Thantophobia - Fear of death or dying.
- Theatrophobia - Fear of theaters.
- Theophobia - Fear of gods or religion.
- Theologicophobia - Fear of theology.
- Thermophobia - Fear of heat.
- Tocophobia - Fear of pregnancy or childbirth.
- Tomophobia - Fear of surgical operations.
- Tonitrophobia - Fear of thunder.
- Topophobia - Fear of certain places or situations, such as stage fright.
- Toxiphobia - Fear of poison or of being accidently poisoned.
- Toxophobia - Fear of poison or of being accidently poisoned.
- Toxicophobia - Fear of poison or of being accidently poisoned.
- Traumatophobia - Fear of injury.
- Tremophobia - Fear of trembling.
- Trichinophobia - Fear of trichinosis.
- Trichopathophobia - Fear of hair.
- Trichophobia - Fear of hair.
- Triskaidekaphobia - Fear of the number 13.
- Tropophobia - Fear of moving or making changes.
- Trypanophobia - Fear of injections.
- Tuberculophobia - Fear of tuberculosis.
- Tyrannophobia - Fear of tyrants.
Types of Phobia: UComplete Types of Phobia List
- Uranophobia - Fear of heaven.
- Urophobia - Fear of urine or urinating.
Types of Phobia: VComplete Types of Phobia List
- Vaccinophobia - Fear of vaccination.
- Venustraphobia - Fear of beautiful women.
- Verbophobia - Fear of words.
- Verminophobia - Fear of germs.
- Vestiphobia - Fear of clothing.
- Virginitiphobia - Fear of rape.
- Vitricophobia - Fear of step-father.
Types of Phobia: WComplete Types of Phobia List
- Walloonphobia - Fear of Walloons.
- Wiccaphobia - Fear of witches and witchcraft.
Types of Phobia: XComplete Types of Phobia List
- Xanthophobia - Fear of the color yellow or the word yellow.
- Xenophobia - Fear of strangers or foreigners.
- Xerophobia - Fear of dryness.
- Xylophobia - Fear of wooden objects. Forests.
Types of Phobia: YComplete Types of Phobia List
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Types of Phobia: ZComplete Types of Phobia List
- Zelophobia - Fear of jelousy.
- Zeusophobia - Fear of God or gods.
- Zemmiphobia - Fear of the great mole rat.
- Zoophobia - Fear of animals.
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